


Love Me or Let Me Go

by AthenaChild101



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, heads up: it's not earning its explicit rating until later, so don't click right now if you want the diddly do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:18:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8638465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AthenaChild101/pseuds/AthenaChild101
Summary: “C’mon, Poindexter. Be my fake boyfriend?” “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> All character belong to the great Ngozi Ukazu and not me.

     Nursey is sitting at the Haus kitchen table. He's trying to write, but it's late and he's tired and the words of his paper are dancing around on the screen. The only thing that stops him from falling asleep on his keyboard (again) is the Haus door slamming open and voices that could only belong to Ransom and Holster.

 

      “Bro, we need to get a head start on Winter Screw dates!”

 

     Nursey freezes, and leans a little in the direction of the living room.

 

     “Oh, shit, right! This is our last year, we can't go off subpar, dude.”

 

      “Exactly. Listen, tomorrow morning, you spreadsheet this shit, and we’ll work from there.”

 

      They head up the stairs, leaving Nursey with flashbacks to the winter screw date Ransom and Holster set him up with last year. His date had been an okay person, but the d-men had more of a “Birds of a feather flock together” mindset when it came to matchmaking, and Jordan had been a dreamy, flighty person majoring in something to do with eastern literature. That wasn’t what Nursey wanted in a date, but he didn’t know to explain this to Ransom and Holster.

 

     He sighs and closes his computer, packing his stuff up and heading back to his dorm. Checking his phone, he does a double take when it reads 1:53 AM. He’s got one text from his mom and two from Dex. His mother is reminding him to call his grandma about her birthday tomorrow, and Dex wants to know if they’re still hanging out tomorrow. He quickly tells his phone to alert him when he needs to call, and then responds to Dex, telling him that yeah, they are. He slips his phone back into his pocket and quickens his pace.

 

     Pulling out his dorm key and fumbling with it, he finally gets in, dropping his bag and sitting down on his bed. As he starts getting ready to sleep, he thinks back on the eavesdropped conversation. Freshman winter screw had been a bit of a disaster. Between both him and Dex having shitty dates and Chowder’s relentless enthusiasm about Farmer, the night blew. The only good part was talking with Dex, because for one night, they found common ground in how much they did not like being there. Settling in for bed, a plan to avoid a repeat of that night starts to form, and Nursey files it away, to be dealt with tomorrow morning.

 

\-----

 

     “Do you wanna go out with me for a month?”

 

      Dex will go on to deny that it ever happened, but in the moment, he can’t help but spew the coffee that just entered his mouth across his computer, because what the fuck, Nursey. He quickly glances up at the boy leaning against his door frame way too casually for the words that just came out of his mouth. Grabbing at a nearby tissue box, he quickly wipes down his computer, before turning to Nursey.

 

     “And why the hell would I do that, Derek?”

 

     Nursey holds up two fingers, and Dex groans internally.

 

     “Two reasons. One, because you’re a reasonable human being.”

 

     “No, being a reasonable human being is a reason I wouldn’t date you.”

 

     Nursey plows on. “Two, because it would mean that we could avoid a repeat of the horror that was last year's winter screw.”

 

     Now Dex is actually curious. “What does that mean?”

 

     Nursey shrugs. “As much as you love dissing my sleep schedule, it means I was awake and in the Haus last night to overhear a conversation between Ransom and Holster about this year’s dates for the dance. And seeing as we both hated last year, the obvious solution is to make sure that neither of us need dates this year.Thus, we pretend to date for a month, and then quietly “break up” after winter screw.” He grins. “I would have just asked someone else to it, but this just kills two birds with one stone. ”

 

     “There is no way that would work.”

 

     “You underestimate our collective bullshitting skills.”

 

     “I’m not fake dating you for a month and a bit just to avoid a slightly unpleasant date.”

 

     Nursey smirks. “Dude, you hated Mary Jo Harvester so much last year, you willingly talked. To me. For three hours. You’re willing to risk a girl that horrible again rather than hang out with me a little more for a month?”

 

     Dex sigh and pinches his nose. “The team thinks I’m straight. They’d see right through it.”

 

     Nursey snorts. “Pretty sure a fair portion of them already think we’re hate-fucking. Besides, this is Samwell, land of the twenty five percent. Nobody’ll even blink at it.”

 

     Dex is running out of arguments, and Nursey can apparently see that on his face. “C’mon, Poindexter. Be my fake boyfriend?”

 

     “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”


	2. Chapter Two

     Dex walks into the dining hall, rubbing his eyes and trying to figure out where the nearest cup of coffee is. He doesn’t particularly care if it’s already claimed by somebody else, because he’s running on two hours of sleep and his pure hatred of mornings. Suddenly, there’s a cup in his hand, and Nursey is dragging him over to the table where the hockey team is. There’s an enthusiastic conversation that Dex can not figure out the topic of, but he might be distracted by the fact that Nursey has a seat saved for him. He sips the coffee as Nursey ruffles his hair, and Dex glares at him. The look Nursey gives him is a reminder of what they're doing, and he smiles up at him.

 

     “For the record, I prefer my coffee black.”

 

     Nursey’s look is one of pure betrayal.

 

_“What!?!?”_

 

     “Black coffee is simplistic and not frivolous, unlike whatever this is.”

 

     “It's cream and sugar, Dex. Not frivolous.”

 

     Dex glares, but continues sipping the coffee.

 

     “I can't believe I'm dating someone who likes black coffee. What the fuck?”

 

     Dex holds his breath. He waits for the inevitable. It finally comes from Lardo.

 

     “Wait, _what_?”

 

     “Uhhhh, ooops?” Dex is trying to act cool, but he's pretty sure it's not working.

 

     “Holy _shiiiiiiit_ , dude! Our two fave d-men are together and they didn't tell us? Bro!”

 

     Nursey comes out the rescue. “It's still kinda new, Holster. We're seeing how it goes.”

 

     Ransom pipes up. “This is beautiful, men.” He starts gently banging the table and chanting quietly. “Twenty five percent. Twenty five percent.” Holster joins in, and Dex buries his face in his hands. “Twenty five percent! Twenty five percent! TWENTY FIVE PERCENT! TWENTY FIVE PERCENT!”

 

     Dex lifts his head, and notices that the entire dining hall is staring. He looks at Nursey.

 

     “You said they wouldn't even blink.”

 

     Nursey grins. “I promised no surprise, not no reaction. Those are two very different things.”

 

     Dex groans, grabs his coffee cup and Nursey’s hand, and quickly exits the dining hall.

 

     “Hey, I didn't even have time for any food!”

 

      “Maybe if you hadn't spent so much time bitching about my coffee preferences, you would have.” It's their usual arguing, but Dex notices there’s less bite to it than usual.

 

     “On the plus side, they didn't call bullshit.”

 

     “Dex, Ransom and Holster wouldn't know bullshit if it slapped their asses and called them daddy.”

 

     “That's a horrible metaphor. I can't believe you're a poetry major.”

 

     “Flowery language is reserved solely for actual poetry, not explaining how little my friends notice about my dating life.”

 

     They're at Faber now, and Dex realises that he's still got his hand around Nursey’s. He drops it as casually as he can.

 

     “They won't chirp us during practice, don't worry.”

 

     “Yes, but will they chirp us afterwards and for the rest of our lives even if we tell them we were never dating? Yes. They will.”

 

     “Good point.”


	3. Chapter Three

     A peanut M&M hits the side of Dex’s head.

 

     “Nursey, stop it.”

 

     Nursey rolls over on the bed. “But I’m boooooored.”

 

     “That’s your problem.

 

     There’s quiet for a while. Then another M&M.

 

     “I will confiscate your snacks if I have to.”

 

     Nursey gasps. “You wouldn’t!”

 

     Dex sighs. Suddenly, his phone dings, and he leans over to grab it. He’s got a text from Chowder, and…

 

     “Fuck.”

 

    “What?”

 

    “We’ve got a double date with Chowder and Farmer tomorrow morning at Annie’s. Eleven o’clock.”

 

     “That’s not too horrible.”

 

    “Ughhhhhhhhhhh.”

 

    “Chill, Poindexter.”

 

    “Don’t even.”

 

\-----

 

     The two of them are awkwardly sitting in a booth with Farmer, waiting for Chowder to show. They don't really know her that well, which Dex is only just now realizing. He probably should have tried to get to know one of his best friends’ girlfriend better.

 

     “You play volleyball, right?”

 

     Nursey to the rescue.

 

     Farmer nods. “Yeah. Got into it in middle school when my friends made me do it with them, and it was really fun, so I just kept doing it. And here I am, playing in college.”

 

     Nursey nods, “Nice.”

 

     “And you guys are on the hockey team with Chris? How’s that?”

 

     Dex shrugs. “Pretty good. “

 

     “That’s how you guys met, right?”

 

     Nursey smiles. “Yeah. We hated each other for most of freshman year, though. Somehow managed to play some damn good defense together.”

 

     Farmer giggles, but her eyes suddenly light up at something behind Dex and Nursey. Dex turns a little, and see’s Chowder entering. He heads over to their booth, taking a seat next to Farmer.

 

     “Hey, guys! So great to see you! I mean, we saw each other this morning for hockey practice, but it’s always good to see you. Sorry I’m a little late. Oh, god, how long have you guys been waiting for me? I’m sorry!”

 

     Farmer laughs. “Chris, honey, you’re fine. It hasn’t been that long. Besides, we were having a good conversation.”

 

     Chowder is visibly relieved, and they all order. They talk and laugh for a while, and Dex doesn’t even realize that Nursey’s arm is around his shoulder, or that he’s leaning into him. When he does, it startles him for a second, but he rolls with it, because there’s nothing much else he can do. Finally, the dreaded relationship questions start rolling in.

 

     “And when did you two get together?”

 

     Dex answers. “About a week ago.’

 

     Nursey takes the lie from there. “Yeah, we were chilling in Dex’s dorm, and he was chirping me about- oh god, something dumb, I can’t even it remember now- and he looked up at me and grinned, and I just- kissed him. “ He looks at Dex, giving him a soft smile. “And my poorly thought out decision paid off.” He gives him a peck on the forehead, and Dex smiles back at him. He's lost in this lie of happiness, and when it rushes back to him that they're faking all this, he feels jarred, but he's not sure why.

 

     “Gosh, I’m so happy you guys are together! You’re some of my best friends in the world!”

 

     Suddenly, Chowder is leaning over that table to hug them, and it’s the most physically and emotionally  uncomfortable position he’s ever been in. He glances at Nursey, and his face perfectly conveys what Dex is thinking: “ _We’re gonna break Chowder’s sweet little heart.”_


	4. Chalter Four

    “How would you make everything in comic sans?”

 

    Dex looks at Nursey, “You’re shitting me.”

 

    “It’s practical knowledge.”

 

    Dex wonders why he ever thought this was a good idea. His program isn’t displaying right, and Nursey offered to help him talk through it to try to find the mistake. Instead, Nursey is asking dumb questions that barely pertain. Dex sighs. He know he’s not gonna get out of explaining that.

 

    “I’d go into the CSS and switch the font property to Comic Sans. It’s not that- shit.”

 

    “What?”

 

    “Here’s the issue. That’s what it is. The text properties. Goddammit. Fuck.”

 

    Nursey gasps dramatically. “Are you saying my curiosity into Comic Sans helped?”

 

    “No.”

 

    Nursey leans over “ _ Admit it, Poindexter.” _

 

_     “No.” _

 

__ Suddenly, there’s a pillow in his face, and it’s full on war. The tussling ends with Dex pinned on his stomach, and his hand pulled behind his back. 

 

    ‘How the  _ hell?”  _ From what he can see with his head turned, Nursey shrugs.

 

    “Uhhhh, I held a childhood interest in hand-to-hand combat?”

 

    “Why?”

 

    “Hey, I don’t question your childhood interest!”

 

    Dex snorts. “I didn’t really have ‘childhood interests.’ I was a boring kid.”

 

    “There’s no such thing as boring child. Come on. Every kid has some dumb ass thing they were into or did.”

 

    “Nope.”

 

    “Next you’re gonna claim you were a boring teen, too.”

 

    “I was!”

 

    “Bullshit. All teens have some secret. I got high in the kitchen. My friend Allie snuck out to under a bridge in our neighborhood. Allen practiced witchcraft. Jake DJ’d warehouse raves. You have to have something.”

 

    And Dex is flashing back.

 

    He remembers talking with boys after school, laughing, joking. He remembers one in particular, Tobias, who always payed attention to Dex when no one else did. He remembers the boys talking about girls they liked, and not really knowing what to say when they asked him. He remembers glancing over at Tobias, who offered him a reassuring look, and some comfort in what he felt.

 

    And then he remembers, one shitty day at a Mass, the preacher had gone on and on about living in sin and eternal damnation and for the next few weeks, he had cried himself to sleep.

 

    He never spoke to Tobias again. 

 

    “Get off me.”

 

    “What? Come on, dude. It’s not that big of a deal.”

 

    Dex clenches his teeth. “I said  _ get off.” _

 

__ Nursey eases off, and Dex grabs his laptop, shoves it into his bag, walks towards the door with a scowl on his face. He doesn’t know where he’s going, considering it’s his dorm they’re currently in, but he just can’t be around Nursey’s stuck up ass right now.

  
    He ignores Derek’s calls as he heads down the hall. 


	5. Chapter Five

     They’re flopped together on the couch. Nursey is making Dex watch Mean Girls, and Dex is pretending that he couldn’t care less about it. In reality, he’s loving this. He’s not sure whether “this” is the social struggles of Cady Herron, or the way he’s curled up with Nursey, but he’s not going to think about that right now.

     “So?”

     “This is a weird-ass movie.”

     “That’s all?”

     “Yes.”

     “C’mon. This is an amazing movie. Besides, I’ve seen your netflix history. It’s full of this kinda stuff. There’s no way you could not like this.”

      Dex’s jaw drops. “How?”

      “You borrowed my laptop that one time, remember? And then you forgot to logout. When I went to watch, your account pulled up. And there it was, in all it’s glory. Legally Blonde.”

     “My sister told me to watch it!”

     “I’d believe you if your watchlist wasn’t full of shit exactly like it. C’mon. Admit you like Mean Girls.”

     “No.”

     “Just say it. ‘I like Mean Girls.’ Not that hard.”

     Dex pauses for a second and then mumbles. “I like Gretchen’s hair.”

     Even with his back to Nursey, he can sense that he’s pumping his fist in the air. “Victory!”

     It’s at that moment that all hell breaks loose.

     Okay, all hell is a bit of an exaggeration. It’s Ransom and Holster making a handful of frogs help set up a kegster. But as far as Derek is concerned, it’s hell.

     “Dex! Nursey! Grab the Fireball boxes out on the lawn and get them in here!”

     “Ugh, fine.” Dex pulls himself up off the couch, turning around to help Nursey. “Sorry, Derek. Regina George’s foot face is gonna have to wait.”

\-----

  
     This is the worst part of this whole scheme.

     “Dating” Nursey means that the rest of the team has decided that he’s always on Nursey duty. So far, Derek has had three shots and two cups of tub juice, and Dex is mentally repeating every conversation he had with Mary Jo Harvester to remind himself that this is all worth it.

     “Deeeexyyyyyyy…”

     “Yeah, Derek?”

     “Why are we here?”

     “That is a question for your philosophy teacher and not me.”

      Nursey tries to roll his eyes, but it’s more like an entire head roll. “No, not like that. I mean, like… I’d rather be back in your dorm room watching Mr. Robot and watching you get irritated at the technical things you know are wrong and chirping you about it. Not here.” Nursey squints at him, and Dex tries to ignore how his heart skips a beat. “Which is weird, cause normally I love this.” The music changes, and Nursey gasps. “Ohmygodcomeonwegottadance.”

     Suddenly Dex is being dragged by his wrist towards the living room. He’s being pulled into a crowd of people, and it would be his worst nightmare if he wasn’t with Nursey.

     He’s vaguely aware of a soft female voice crooning, but he’s so much more distracted by how Nursey is suddenly pressed against him. He had been vaguely aware of how Nursey always does this, no matter who he’s dancing with, but it’s something totally different to experience.

     Dex tries to focus on something else, anything else: the beat that's suddenly dropped into this song that Nursey apparently loves, the faint smell of vanilla coming off Nursey, the way Nursey’s slipped his thumb’s into Dex’s belt loops, not so much pulling him closer as just keeping him where he is.

     And fuck, if this isn’t just a more concrete example of how his whole life has been going these past few weeks. Because everything leads him back to Nursey and he’s not even sure he cares how much Nursey matters to him now. But he doesn’t want to deal with this tonight, and so he’s going to pull the trump card that Nursey patrol comes with.

     “C’mon. Time to get you home.”

     “Deeeeeex. Noooooooo.”

     Dex manages to get Nursey moving.

     “Let the record show that William Poindexter is a horrible person and made me leave a kegster in the middle of Bad Things by Camilla Cabello and Machine Gun Kelly! I hate him and I hate his beautiful face!”

      “Wow. You’re even drunker than I thought you were.”

      “Nope. Just… spewing the truth.”

      “You just used the word spewing. Why does that word even exist?”

      Nursey apparently doesn’t have a response to that, because he’s quiet the rest of the way to his dorm.

      “Where’s your key?”

     “Uhhhhh….” Nursey goes through all his various pockets and finally find his card in his inside jacket one, before handing it to Dex, who opens the door and manages to wrangle Nursey into bed.

     Nursey appears to be falling asleep, so Dex finds a cup and some aspirin, before filling the cup with water and placing them both by Nursey’s bed. He’s most of the way out the door when Nursey mumbles, and Dex wouldn’t testify in court to what he said, but he doesn’t even want to think about those words.

     “Night, babe. Love ya.”

     And Dex doesn’t want to think about what that means, here, now, when Nursey isn’t holding up a facade and could only mean for Dex to hear that, so Dex closes the door and starts the lonely walk back to his own dorm.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Dex is sitting on his bed, working though timed assignments. He’s texted Nursey, but hasn’t gotten a response yet, which probably means that Nursey is still asleep. They have practice in the afternoon, so if he hasn’t texted back by three, Dex will go wake him up. But for now, he’s content to work on this practice quiz.

Then there’s a knock on the door.

Dex gets up, unlocks it, and is surprised to find Lardo on the other side.

“Mind if I come in?”

Dex shrugs. “Sure. But it’ll be a while before I can talk. Timed work. ”

He returns to his bed, and Lardo plops down on his desk chair, spinning in it slowly.

“Okay. Done with that.”

Lardo continues to spin silently.

“Any reason why you’re here?”

“Not really. Ransom and Holster were being loud and dumb at the Haus. They’re arguing over Winter Screw dates for people.”

“How’s that going?”

“Ehhh. Ransom’s spreadsheet says that Tango should go with somebody from his calc class, but Holster’s pulling something about a gut feeling and Whisky? And Ransom is not about going with gut feelings.”

“Huh.”

“It’s also easier that they don’t have to find dates for you and Nursey this year. Speaking of that, how are you two doing?”

And this is important. It may be Ransom and Holster that they’re convincing, but that’s like stealing candy from a baby. Lardo can call bullshit better that anybody, so she’s the one this has to be sold to. So Dex sells it.

“Ummmm, pretty good.”

Lardo leans towards him, squinting. “Really?”

By god, Dex is going to sell this.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m just not used to- expressing shit like this? But it’s good. It’s really good. Nursey is nice, and he’s sweet, and we just go well together and I really love h- shit.”

And he’s definitely sold Lardo, but he’s not sure if it was worth having to admit that to himself.

“You tell him that?”

Dex looks down and blushes. “Umm, no, I just… don’t know if he feels the same way, you know?”

Lardo smirks.

“Nursey looks at you like you hung the fucking moon, Dex. If he’s not in love with you, then I don’t think love exists.”

And Dex smiles softly, pushing down the internal panic he’ll be dealing with when Lardo leaves.

After a few more minutes of conversation Dex couldn’t recall if his life depended on it, Lardo finally leaves, and Dex collapses onto his bed. Questions are running through his head faster than he can answer them, and he’s not sure he wants to when he’s running at half brain power like this. He feels… drained. So he’s going to nap and ignore his problems and his schoolwork that really needs to be done, and deal with this later.


	7. Chapter 7

“I think I’m gay.”

The other end of the line is quiet for a minute.

“Oookay, brah, like- I’m glad you told me and worked up the courage to do this, but- I got a new phone, so I’m not quite sure who you fucking are.”

“It’s Dex.”

“Oh. Oh.”

“What the fuck was that oh for?”

“Just- didn’t expect you to be part of the twenty five percent, I guess.”

Dex flops back on the couch. “First Ransom and Holster, and now you. What is up with that number?”

“You came out to Ransom and Holster?”

“I mean- not exactly.”

“Shit, did someone out you?”

“No, just-fuck. I need you to promise that you’re not gonna tell anyone what I tell you. I just- it can’t get back to anyone at Samwell.”

“As long as no one's getting hurt, I’ll take your secrets to the fucking grave, bruh.”

And Dex recounts the whole ordeal, the shitty Winter Screw, Nursey’s completely dumb plan that Dex is definitely regretting at this point, and how it’s building and building and he doesn’t know what the fuck to do. He leaves out the kegster night and his slip-up to Lardo yesterday, because it’s not normal to be as in love with Nursey as he is right now.

“-and so the whole team knows I’m- not straight, I don’t know what the fuck they actually think I am, and Nursey thinks I’m straight, but it’d be weird if I came out to him- it’s one thing to fake-date your straight best friend, and a totally other one to fake-date your gay best friend- right? Is that a totally other thing? God, I just don’t know, Shitty!”

“Sounds like you’re holding over your assumption’s from conservative Maine life that two dudes who are attracted to other guys can’t just be friends, even if they want to be just friends?”

Dex is quiet for a moment, then figures it’s not worth getting advice from Shitty if he’s still holding some of his cards to his chest. It’s in a softer voice that he manages to push out his words: “What if I don’t want to be just friends with Nursey?”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

“So this isn’t just a gay freakout, it’s also a Nursey freakout.”

“I guess.”

They’re both silent for a while, and finally Dex speaks again.

“But like- what do I do?”

“Whatever you want, dude.”

“You’re no help.”

“I can't tell you how to live your life, little dude. I can just tell you that it's Samwell. And Nursey’s not gonna care if you're gay, even if he doesn’t want to be with you. Live your best little homosexual life, if that's what you are, and if it's not, then live whatever the fuck lie you have.”

“Shitty, thank you for the wonderful advice, even though I'd bet money that you're giving it high. Talk later.”

He ends the call, just the slightest bit more hopeful.


End file.
